If you aren’t aware, our family made a big move from Southern California to East Tennessee in September. We rolled into TN almost 2 years to the date that God shifted my heart and while we still don’t know or understand why we had to wait those 2 years or why He’s called us to TN, we are happy to be here even among what felt like so many delays. Sidenote: you can read our whole story/testimony so far over on Instagram @narwhalgardens. Start at the bottom and work your way up to read what God did in those 2 years.
As I write, I write from a week where my heart was greatly discouraged, burdened and doubtful. Since arriving in TN, we’ve had numerous trials, delays and interruptions to our own plans and expectation. We thought that things would move much fast then they have, thought the RV we are staying in would be much more temporary and didn’t expect the time everything would take. Just last night, Max and I were talking about our frustrations and lamenting a bit about where we find ourselves.
One issue we have found is that we are COLD here. Prior to moving, I asked a group of people living in the area, what I should pack for the fall and winter. Based on what I knew and gathered from them, I packed accordingly. At the time, I thought we’d be living in a house and not an RV. I didn’t have any idea what RV life would actually look like- until we moved in, I’d never even been inside one for more then a few minutes. Well fast forward to our 2nd week here and the temps dropped to the 30’s at night and woke up freezing and to a 53* RV- shocked our systems for sure. Anyways, we’ve since gathered blankets, bought warmer clothes and are trying our best to stay warm as the temps dip into the 20’s at night BUT I’ve found myself frustrated. Over the last week, I was wondering why I was so frustrated and upset by this situation and it struck me- I couldn’t plan for this. I didn’t know what I didn’t know.
Confession: I’m a planner at heart and like having life in order and under control. I am not a “fly by the seat of my pants” type and this whole 2 years has been fraught with unknowns around every corner and has pushed me far beyond my natural instincts. God has been refining me and making me more like Him each and every day and part of that refining has been letting go of control and planning my way through life and a whole lot of opening my hands in surrender and submission to what He has planned and in store.
Well, when we arrived here, both cars stopped working. We’ve had numerous small car issues, lost car keys in our storage unit and had many other small annoyances that have delayed our time table, pushed us to frustration and caused an endless amount of delay and time and this week I just couldn’t see past it all. I was in distress and just doubting everything. Then Sunday morning, God sent me a word from Elisabeth Elliot’s book “Keep a Quiet Heart” to encourage us and further refine us:
Speaking of Janet Erskine Stuart: “She delighted in seeing her plan upset by unexpected events, saying that it gave her great comfort, and that she looked on such things as an assurance that God was watching over her stewardship, was securing the accomplishments of His will, and working out His own designs… [Whatever the cause], she was joyfully and graciously ready to recognize the indication of God’s ruling hand, and to allow herself to be guided by it.”
This quote first struck me between the eyes and then after having Maxwell read it, it did the same to him. God used this quote to remind us, that He’s got this. He’s over all of this. He’s got all the pieces worked out and ordained and we just need to take each day and each moment for what it is and do the task before us knowing that God is working out all the details and because we have surrendered our lives to Him and moved in faith, we have not even the smallest bit of control to fall back on.
1 Peter 5:6-7 “Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.” I am a Martha at heart (see Luke 10). I want to have it all together and all in order but over the last 2 years, God continues to show me to let it go and leave it all in His hands. He’s got it all together and He’s got it under control so I don’t need to. I can lay my anxieties, cares, burdens and worries at His feet and while they don’t go away, it means that they are no longer my burdens to bear. Oh the sweet rest and relief that come when I truly believe this!
